been a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggggggggggg time since i've last updated.. life seems to be more happening now i guess.. ever since my last post, there was my cousin's wedding at marina mandarin on the 24th, which happens to be christmas eve too.. indeed a very nice day they had picked but sadly on such occasions, i had to leave halfway to help out at 7-11.. then had a cycling session with 09/07 peeps at east coast park, met up with some modestians too to catch twilight at marina square.. but of all, the most unforgettable one will be the 6-1 sentosa outing.. yep, after 6 six years or probably 7, we're still in contact and as close as we could be.. in my point of view, it's closer than in secondary school and college.. had loads of fun out at the beach, with the weather being rather scorching hot.. i'm amazed by the number who turned up and even amazed to see how things had changed or not after such a long period..

then came the new year! the year 2009, where most of the guys of my batch will be enlisting into the famous pulau tekong BMT school.. i used most because there's a number who went in last year in december.. i'm not an exception too but mine's in march, probably about 2 more months left.. this time, my new year was spent in 7-11 again.. i went in at 7pm, i left at 8am.. cool shit.. for the first time in my whole life, i never knew that the store could get so so so so packed.. alcohol, liquor and cigarettes were the best sellers and the queues were long non-stop.. it was very very tiring, but after the end of the day, there is always this sense of accomplishment.. collected a record breaking 15k just for that day alone (but subsequent days were like shit, according to my mum)..

hmm, there was a basketball chalet too organised by the juniors.. zhi hao and i were the only seniors that crashed.. had a fun session out there.. met pin rui, shane and ryan there as their chalet was also nearby.. had a 6-1 dinner halfway through the chalet too.. ok, that was pretty much, as far as i could remember..

lastly, the most important one was i finally got my new bike! woots! a 2009 series cannondale f5! it's a 27-speed hardtail bike which cost a hefty 1200 bucks but it's value for money anyway.. the bike is now my wife, hoping to ride it as much as possible before i enlist!

♥ there's not a place
in heaven that we cant reach

work had been busy as always.. ranging from the least 8 hours to 11, the most.. today was a day which i worked for 8 hours.. from 4pm till near 1am.. i hate weekends simply because there are so many people, lolx.. it's kind of stressful when u see such a situation, feels terrible too.. saw some familiar faces days ago.. the first was shan zhi, he called me.. and oh my, i almost couldn't recognise him in his number 4.. he was out just a week after enlisting into day 1 of bmt.. and today, saw pong, he's flying to hong kong today.. bon voyage pong! and the last surprise was that i met christine.. haha.. a secondary school friend and oh my, i also couldn't recognise her because 1. i haven't seen her for a long while and 2. i've only seen her on civilian wear once.. haha.. treated her and her bf/friend/brother (either which is correct) some drinks.. and then it was 12+am when i finally realised when i looked at my phone.. did mug for my final theory test too, which happens to fall on 12th jan.. there will be a primary school class outing soon on the 26th.. hope it will be fun.. lastly, work is on again for me starting from 4pm.. hope it's just a pleasant day again.. no, it must be..

Labels: work is killing me..

♥ there's not a place
in heaven that we cant reach

first, it was 5 years back, then it was 3 years and then there is now.. how low can life really get? i really didn't know i would be like that even though there were times that really left me felt left out.. maybe i'm too sensitive? i can still remember in secondary 1, and then 3 and now, year 2, it all had the same feeling, why? all of those who were once close are now slowly drifting away.. did i do anything wrong to deserve this? ballers in secondary school were like that, ballers in college weren't any different.. well, it doesn't make any difference to them i guess.. classmates in secondary school were like that, classmates in college were also the same.. it's kind of frustrating to have this feeling, but i'm strong enough to overcome it.. but please, if that's the case of what i think is really true, don't act it, just hit it directly to me.. sometimes, some of your acts are so easy to see through.. not saying it out doesn't mean i don't know it.. i'm a human and for goodness' sake, i'll know it for sure.. and this post, i would really want to dedicate to some who i knew for years.. once so close as friends but now like foes.. i appreciate the happy moments but since you've made it so clear to call it quits, i accept it.. but next time when you do so to another person, do it straight in the face, don't drag it like a pussy..

Labels: been fucked up enough..

♥ there's not a place
in heaven that we cant reach

have not been blogging for slightly more than 2 weeks already mainly because my internet was done and i was at work.. not quite a happening period, following a routine each passing day.. the most recent event would be the gathering at mrs chua's house just moments ago when we left.. not quite enjoyable to me with that feeling of something boring and empty kept bugging me.. feel quite bad to pang seh the ballers at times due to work, but i know, and they know it doesn't make much a difference to them anyway, i believe.. work had been tiring and tough too.. 8 to 10 hours a shift, or maybe even more on certain days.. knocked out once it's time to knock off.. probably i should be a workaholic to drown all the troubles that i pretty hated them right from the start.. but no matter what, they still persist ultimately.. have been a regular at the arcade during this period too.. always there at around noon.. had no problems with the shooting machine with my standard currently 800+ at best, and a 770+ average.. currently hooked on to new games like jubeat and intial d 4.. i think there's nothing much more to mention..

Labels: how are holidays supposed to be?

♥ there's not a place
in heaven that we cant reach

just a brief recap of the many many things that happened since the end of a's, dating back to 18th nov..

18th nov: end of a's / class dinner

22nd to 27th nov: cambodia trip
(shall mention about the trip in future posts because there are simply too many things to share about the experience there..)

1st dec: grad nite / post-prom.. joel was prom king; geraldine was the prom queen.. and i had won myself a $100 world of sports voucher.. clubbed at DXO for post prom.. it was such a small place, seriously speaking

3rd dec: yep, today.. took my BTT.. passed.. woots.. thought i would've failed while i was doing it because the answers were all pretty similar and the questions are so tricky.. haha.. but who cares, i'm done with it anyway!

upcoming activities:

4th/5th dec: volunteer work @ children camp

7th to 8th dec: 09/07 chalet @ aranda

10th dec: back to tj for bball gathering

24th dec: cousin's wedding @ marina mandarin

Labels: packed and busy..

♥ there's not a place
in heaven that we cant reach

life had really been full of ups and downs for me.. especially these few weeks, i've really found what i need and what that is able to drive me and guide me through all my journeys - the purpose of my life..

if i only i could turn back time, i would have done lots of things that i ought to do but it's no use regretting now.. i can still vividly remember the first day i stepped into TJ and my first meeting with the basketball family.. no words can describe such an experience as this huge family is what that i really find a purpose in TJ.. soon enough, we'll be heading out to cambodia and i'm sure there's only got to be joy and more joy.. we've waited long enough for these days, be sure to cherish them..

if only i worked hard right from the start, i suppose i wouldn't be in such a miserable state.. to get out of it and rise again shall be what my life is all about.. i won't really be very disappointed or happy with any results i get because i earned it or deserved it.. what i really care now is how i can move on when i see them.. to walk the lonely and sad path is never my way of seeing things.. life's going to be pretty routine soon.. a's ending in 5 more days, NS enlistment on march 13th and i'm sure i'm going to get my license.. never to forget the rock band and arcade sessions that i may have in the future..

and if i could only turn time once, i would choose to go back to the very special day.. this time, i'll be really cherishing the opportunity and the blessing of knowing you.. we did have some fun moments but i hope to bring more fun then.. but saying this when i know it's pretty impossible shows how much it's hard to forget.. the mind is such a confusing and misleading object indeed..

back to reality, i just hope everything goes well and i'll be happy to live my life!

Labels: i'll remember you..

♥ there's not a place
in heaven that we cant reach

i know the a's is still on but i don't feel like saying anything about it.. i'm really in no mood to do anything now..

it's really miserable to see someone how someone can feel so shattered when it comes to hearing and seeing unpleasant stuffs.. it's more or less the same to see how someone is being by so many obstacles and have to fight them alone to survive.. it's needless to say how i feel when that someone is you.. those are unpleasant memories that i wish and want to forget.. i tried hard but fate doesn't seem to give me a chance.. "is this karma? am i really that bad?" i always ask myself..

seriously speaking, i know who i am, and i don't need people like you to tell me that.. and when i hope to improve by changing, you are the culprits in stopping me.. should i thank you? i really love to change but to hear what was then considered to be your 'friends' say what they actually think of me as a person that i really do not wish to hear because i want that change, it's really pissing me off.. it really shows how people are like behind you.. but that was not the worse i had came to realise yet.. imagine you had a friend of many years and you had been deceived, how would you feel.. i admit i may be very talkative and i know lots of people but doesn't mean i can't keep secrets or i will keep spreading stuffs that shouldn't be said as and when i like it.. be it in class or in school, it's all happening.. i'm sick of this.. i mean being a friend of so many years, is this really how you think of me? am i really still the same? when people know about your matters, your first suspect is me that had spread? FUCK YOU and go eat some shit, you asshole.. so much for being friends.. and it's because of such people, my life gets so screwed up, a job well done indeed if that's your cause..

maybe you can say i'm wrong, i'm such a loser, i'm hopeless but let me tell you.. i'm 18, old enough to do anything i want.. and times have changed and so do i.. knowing me years ago doesn't mean i will stay the same years after.. that's absolutely WRONG, damn it! it hurts so much, so so much, just to say things that i think i deserve not to hear..

have you also ever wondered why i look so cheerful everytime? it's because i'm an optimist.. i'll rather look of the bright side than looking on the dark side.. i can crack jokes, i'm funny and lame but not every joke you say to me is a joke.. i can take certain issues very seriously and that's when you piss me off.. so the best is not to take things for granted and never try to toy with my limit because when i'm crazy, i really don't know what i am going to do, given the fact that i'm also very impulsive..

i don't care what you think and what you say, this is how i feel and you can stay away from this.. nobody asked you to anyway..

Labels: fuck off..

♥ there's not a place
in heaven that we cant reach

guan jie -

czps [1/2-10, 3/4/5/6-1]
cchms [1/2 bn, 3/4 md]
♥ tjc 09/07
♥ team tjc bball
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