life had really been full of ups and downs for me.. especially these few weeks, i've really found what i need and what that is able to drive me and guide me through all my journeys - the purpose of my life..

if i only i could turn back time, i would have done lots of things that i ought to do but it's no use regretting now.. i can still vividly remember the first day i stepped into TJ and my first meeting with the basketball family.. no words can describe such an experience as this huge family is what that i really find a purpose in TJ.. soon enough, we'll be heading out to cambodia and i'm sure there's only got to be joy and more joy.. we've waited long enough for these days, be sure to cherish them..

if only i worked hard right from the start, i suppose i wouldn't be in such a miserable state.. to get out of it and rise again shall be what my life is all about.. i won't really be very disappointed or happy with any results i get because i earned it or deserved it.. what i really care now is how i can move on when i see them.. to walk the lonely and sad path is never my way of seeing things.. life's going to be pretty routine soon.. a's ending in 5 more days, NS enlistment on march 13th and i'm sure i'm going to get my license.. never to forget the rock band and arcade sessions that i may have in the future..

and if i could only turn time once, i would choose to go back to the very special day.. this time, i'll be really cherishing the opportunity and the blessing of knowing you.. we did have some fun moments but i hope to bring more fun then.. but saying this when i know it's pretty impossible shows how much it's hard to forget.. the mind is such a confusing and misleading object indeed..

back to reality, i just hope everything goes well and i'll be happy to live my life!

Labels: i'll remember you..

♥ there's not a place
in heaven that we cant reach

i know the a's is still on but i don't feel like saying anything about it.. i'm really in no mood to do anything now..

it's really miserable to see someone how someone can feel so shattered when it comes to hearing and seeing unpleasant stuffs.. it's more or less the same to see how someone is being by so many obstacles and have to fight them alone to survive.. it's needless to say how i feel when that someone is you.. those are unpleasant memories that i wish and want to forget.. i tried hard but fate doesn't seem to give me a chance.. "is this karma? am i really that bad?" i always ask myself..

seriously speaking, i know who i am, and i don't need people like you to tell me that.. and when i hope to improve by changing, you are the culprits in stopping me.. should i thank you? i really love to change but to hear what was then considered to be your 'friends' say what they actually think of me as a person that i really do not wish to hear because i want that change, it's really pissing me off.. it really shows how people are like behind you.. but that was not the worse i had came to realise yet.. imagine you had a friend of many years and you had been deceived, how would you feel.. i admit i may be very talkative and i know lots of people but doesn't mean i can't keep secrets or i will keep spreading stuffs that shouldn't be said as and when i like it.. be it in class or in school, it's all happening.. i'm sick of this.. i mean being a friend of so many years, is this really how you think of me? am i really still the same? when people know about your matters, your first suspect is me that had spread? FUCK YOU and go eat some shit, you asshole.. so much for being friends.. and it's because of such people, my life gets so screwed up, a job well done indeed if that's your cause..

maybe you can say i'm wrong, i'm such a loser, i'm hopeless but let me tell you.. i'm 18, old enough to do anything i want.. and times have changed and so do i.. knowing me years ago doesn't mean i will stay the same years after.. that's absolutely WRONG, damn it! it hurts so much, so so much, just to say things that i think i deserve not to hear..

have you also ever wondered why i look so cheerful everytime? it's because i'm an optimist.. i'll rather look of the bright side than looking on the dark side.. i can crack jokes, i'm funny and lame but not every joke you say to me is a joke.. i can take certain issues very seriously and that's when you piss me off.. so the best is not to take things for granted and never try to toy with my limit because when i'm crazy, i really don't know what i am going to do, given the fact that i'm also very impulsive..

i don't care what you think and what you say, this is how i feel and you can stay away from this.. nobody asked you to anyway..

Labels: fuck off..

♥ there's not a place
in heaven that we cant reach

gp was today.. screwed.. prepared for the worst.. won't be surprised if it's really the case.. sian liao la..

Labels: no mood..

♥ there's not a place
in heaven that we cant reach

guan jie -

czps [1/2-10, 3/4/5/6-1]
cchms [1/2 bn, 3/4 md]
♥ tjc 09/07
♥ team tjc bball
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